Because it takes a beast to teach you to be a man!
Are you wondering how me, a creature whose existence has never even been proven, can teach you how to be a man? Are you saying to yourself “he’s just a smelly ape that wanders the woods eating roots and small grub worms.” Well buddy, that’s where you’re wrong. Do you really think 300,000 women go camping every year because they want to commune with deer and squirrels? No. They’re really hoping for a little Cryptozoological loving; something I’m more than happy to provide. So next time your lady friend says she’s taking off for the weekend to “help save the wetlands” trust me, the land won’t be the only thing that’s wet.
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